


You are Loved

by SJ_Sixx



Series: Chronic Illness Readers [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anxiety, Chronic Fatigue, Chronic Illness, Chronic illness is a bitch, F/M, Loki is a sweetheart, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony's card gets nicked once again, all da meds, fibromyalgia, is blueberry jam a thing?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-05 23:57:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11024286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SJ_Sixx/pseuds/SJ_Sixx
Summary: Chronic Illness and Anxiety were never a good mix. It causes your mind to concoct all sorts of things and fabricate all sorts of lies. When the reader thinks all the other's are judging her for her illness, it takes a little magic to prove that they're not.





	You are Loved

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I always struggle to find story's revolving round Chronic Illness. As someone who suffered with both Chronic Pain and Chronic Fatigue, I could never find a reader to relate to - and I am sure I cannot be the only one out there.
> 
> So, I decided to start a collection of Chronically Ill reader inserts!
> 
> So far, I'm focusing on the Avenger's fandom, but I imagine I'll branch out soon into other fandoms, most likely Supernatural, Harry Potter, Sherlock, Doctor Who, etc
> 
> If anyone has an major request, stick 'em in the comment! Whether it be for a certain character, or a certain chronic illness, I'll do my best to write them all.

_“You wake up every morning to fight the same demons that left you so tired the night before, and that, my love, is bravery.” –_ **Unknown**

Some days, getting up was the hardest part.

 

As I lay there, my eyes staring at the ceiling, I sighed, trying to find the strength to move my arms, but alas, I was having no luck.

The sun was gently shining into the room, and I could hear birds tweeting outside, but I could not muster the energy I needed to get up.

Chronic Fatigue was a bitch.

I could hear footsteps outside my door, and voices swam out, and my brain translated them all for me.

“Is she still in bed?” _God, she is so lazy_

“Yeah, I think it’s a bad day.” _Like every other day_

“The doctor’s still don’t know how to cure her?” _Because she’s making this up._

“It’s incurable, it’s a chronic condition.” _It’s another made up term for being a slob_

As the tears burned at the corner of my eyes, I felt them trickle down my face, unable to stop them or even wipe them away.

Head pounding, I pulled every inch of energy together, and managed to push myself so I was sitting upright, my body aching all over. The act itself made me want to lay back down and go back to sleep, if I could.

There was a gentle knocking on her door, and I sighed.

“My darling? Can I come in?”

“Sure,” I murmured, but his god-like hearing picked it up.

The door opened and the emerald eyes swept over me, as he made his way over to sit next to me on the bed, carefully pulling me into him – with my skin being so sensitive, it made it feel like it was enough to bruise, even though it was never more than a light pressure.

Fibromyalgia was a jerk.

“Is it another one of your down days?” Loki murmured as I rested my cheek in the crook of his neck.

_Are you making this up just for more pity?_

“Yeah… let’s go with that…” I mumbled.

“My love, what is wrong? There is more to this than you are letting on.” He asked.

_You’re being awkward again and lying._

“Why do you stay with me?” I whispered, “Thor told me of Asguard, of the woman there, with their glowing skin and healthy, abled bodies. Of their stamina and ability, and of their looks and features.”

“Because, I do not wish for any of that. I fell in love with you for _you_. For your wild hair that you dye all the colours of the Bifrost without a care of other’s thoughts. For your eyes that flitter between the purest silver of the Nine Realms to the darkest storm clouds that Thor can conjure. For your attitude and snark that you give Stark and anyone else who dare to speak to you in a certain way. For the way, on a good day, you act as if you can conquer the world and no one can stop you. For the way on your bad days, you curl into me, needing my comfort and love but you will not admit it unless I practically drag it out of you. And for the way that every morning, you get up and battle the demons that left you so tired the night before, and how much bravery that takes you, my love. You are so much stronger than you allow yourself to believe.”

I smiled, before whispering “Thank you,”

“Do not thank me, my dove, it is my duty as your partner. Now, I think someone needs some food, less she become too hungry.”

With the god-like strength he had been born with, Loki scooped me up from the bed, before carrying me into the main room.

“Ah, sleeping beauty’s awoken!” _About time as well, the lazy girl_

Loki glared at Stark as he shot a cheeky grin over, before placing me on the barstool.

“ _Is there anything that M’am would like today?”_ JARVIS chimed from above.

“Just some toast please, with butter and jam.”

“ _Blueberry jam?”_

“Ya know me too well,”

“Hey, you better not be pinching the last of the blueberry jam, doll.”

“Bite me, Bucky,” I smiled sweetly at the ex-assain, who standing there, a grin scrawled over his face.

“Nah, that’s Loki’s job,” he laughed, moving to pull the pot of orange marmalade out, swiping a bit on my nose.

“Where did Loki go, anyway?” I asked, wiping it off, realising he was not in the room anymore.

“My brother went to collect your medication, my Lady.” Thor contributed from across the breakfast bar, where he was devouring a large plate of eggs and toast.

“Ah, right,” I nodded, as the plate of toast was placed in front of my, along with a glass of cranberry juice – JARVIS knew me too well.

“I am never too far away from you.”

I jumped very slightly as he spoke, Loki placing my medication box in front of me.

“Cheers, hun.” I said, opening up the morning compartment and tipping them out, before taking them all with my juice.

“You take so many meds, and yet none of them seem to work,” said Thor, confused.

_Is it because you are merely faking this illness?_

“Yeah, Thor, that’s the problem with a chronic illness. It can’t be cured, only lessened.” I explained.

“Why do you not take her to see Eir?” asked Thor.

“Eir cannot cure these types of illness. I asked already. Plus, you know Odin would never allow a Midguardian to be seen by Eir herself.” Replied Loki.

Wanda was looking at me, and as I locked eyes with her, she nodded, in almost a satisfied way.

“Would you care to come with me for a second?” she asked.

I nodded, reaching for my walking stick that was hung on the countertop, conveniently, probably by JARVIS.

“I will…” began Loki.

“No, this will be between us two. I think she needs to hear what I have to say, alone.” Interrupted Wanda.

“I’ll be fine, love. Back in a moment.” I smiled at Loki, who looked to be on the verge of arguing.

Getting up, I trudged after Wanda, relived when she darted into her room, which was closest to the dining room.

“Please, take a seat.”

I sat down clumsily on her bed, crossing my legs as she sat opposite me, legs crossed in an identical fashion.

“I know that your anxiety has been twisting the words of the others. But I want you to hear what they truly mean, and what they are really thinking. Close your eyes, and I will show you.” She said.

I shut my eyes and felt her carefully and softly place her hands on either side of my temples.

As my eyes opened, we were standing in the room of the others, but it was like we were not there.

“Who do you want to see first?” Wanda asked.

“T-Tony.” I stammered.

She nodded, before focusing on him, and I almost jumped as I heard him, like he was right next to me.

“ _I hope the kid’s ok. Needs a medal for all the shit she’s going through, specially at her age.”_

“And next?” Wanda asked.

“S-Steve.”

Again, his voice swum out, clear as day.

“ _We never had these conditions back in the day. We would have never known what to do, and to think that almost 70 years on, we’re still clueless… hope we can figure something out soon for her, it pains me to see her like this.”_

“Bucky.”

_“Doll needs a good day of relax, like a girls pamper day. Wonder if I can persuade Stark a fancy do on his card for her. Heck, could get Nat to pinch it. I know a good place in Brooklyn that’s still going all these years later, my ma loved it.”_

“Thor.”

_“The fair maiden does not deserve all the weight she carries on her shoulder. I thought Eir might have had the answer, but that fact she doesn’t makes me admire the Lady even more.”_

“Natasha.”

_“Kid deserves more than this. Maybe me, her and Wanda should go on a girls day out. Take her to a fancy spa, use Tony’s card, sure Wanda would be up for it.”_

“L-L-Loki.”

_“Oh my dove. I only wish there was some way to take all her pain from her. I know of no magic that will fix this. Maybe if I studied more, I can find something to help the pain… maybe I have a spell or something in a book somewhere. Anything to help my darling.”_

I gasped, my eyes shooting open as Wanda removed her hands from my head, looking at me in concern.

“Are you ok?”

Tears were running down my face, and Wand embraced me as I cried.

“I-I never knew…”

“I know, I have been watching. Your anxiety has been telling you so many things that could not be further from the truth. No one thinks that you are faking it, no one thinks that you are lazy. We all worry and care you for you, and we just wish we could make you better.”

“I can hear crying,”

I looked up to see Loki at the doorway.

“Whatever is the matter? Are you hurting again?”

“N-no Loki… I’m just… I’m just… I dunno how to describe it…”

“Someone was having some self doubts about how the other’s think,” Wanda said, “and I was just showing her that she was wrong.”

Loki looked carefully at us, before coming to pick me up.

“Let us discuss this further… thank you, Wanda.” He said, as he left.

Taking me to his room, he sat me down on the bed, looking into my eyes as he gently grasped my shoulders.

“Self doubts?” he asked carefully.

“When you suffer like this, with conditions that not even some doctor’s believe, it’s hard to not wonder if other’s think that you are making this up, even though you know, logically, that they’re not. It’s hard for your mind not to twist the words around to negative thoughts. And, I was doing that, without even realising it.” I whispered.

“Oh, my sweetheart…” Loki pulled me into a kiss, a soft, gentle, yet loving kiss, before pulling away carefully, “No one, ever, doubted that this was real. None of us ever thought for a second that you were making this up. I am so sorry that you ever had reason or thought to think that for a moment. We all care about you, and we all just wish to help.”

I gave a small smile back, face wet with tears, “I know that now.”

There was a knocking on the door, and Tony’s voice was heard.

“Oi, your toast is going cold, and I ain’t gonna hold off Olaf for much longer!”

 

_You need to eat to get your strength, and I will kill Bucky if he eats it._


End file.
